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Not sure if I am moderately happy here, or in controlled terror, but I do know few people could say, or want to be able to say that they have had the same hair cut all their lives.

Until the other day I did not understand the power of the vine. When I was little my dad would carry me into the water at the Jersey shore. I was petrified. As strong as he was and how small I was by comparison, I always feared he would let go

Don't misunderstand. He would not have let me drown. He was not cruel. But the fear of water washed away my trust that he would keep me safe. The fear that he would decide he'd held me long enough and let go of me was overwhelming; the fear that maybe he was not strong enough after all to keep me from drowning. A powerful fear that I can feel even today.

This is the distorted way I have viewed my heavenly Father. I know He will not leave me. I know He commands the water, and can part it, or calm it, or walk on it, for that matter. I know He has a plan to build me and not destroy me.

But the fear.

The fear He will decide He has held me long enough and has given me all that I need to face my challenges and put me down; the fear that maybe He is not strong enough after all to keep me in the palm of His hand; the fear that He would call me out to do the impossible, to walk on water as He did to Peter and that His arms might be too short to reach me.

But the vine.

The vine that gives me life and nourishment, energy, and even hope. A branch can't cling to the vine the way I clung to my father's arms. Even I-plants come to my garden to die-understand that branches don't cling to their vines. The vine provides the energy and nourishment they need to stay with the vine. When did I distort which clung to which?

The vine holds the branch, and all the branch-and I-need to do is to abide in the vine. He will not let me go. He is stronger than any current and if He calls me to do what seems impossible His arms will not be too short to save me. Apart from Him indeed I can do nothing but it is to my Father's glory that I bear much fruit, so why would I worry that He would put me down?

If I could have rested in my dad's arms; threw my arms high, and leaned back; trusted him to keep me safe; what hilarious fun we could have both had. As it was all he could do was try to assure me of his intentions, as I white-knuckled my grip on him.

If I can lean back with abandon, knowing the Vine has me, will nourish me, will keep me, will be my strength, will enable me to do what I cannot do, and He does not have to reassure me of His intentions; well that indeed will be glorious.

I will post a u tube link. If it does not show up, google "Hoyt team, I can only imagine"and consider what is truly meant to abide in the Father, being helpless in our own strength, and what the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit does for us in our helplessness.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cxqe77-Am3w